We often hear “don’t take things personally, what other people say and do is a reflection of them, a projection of their insecurities, wounds, etc.” And while this is true, it doesn’t make it hurt any less when we experience it.
Shadow work is something that has transformed my life. It has helped me grow my self-love exponentially. I’ve cultivated more compassion through practicing shadow work and integration of my own shadow.
The shadow is whenever an aspect of self (personality trait, emotion, reaction, etc.) is rejected and suppressed into our subconscious, creating feelings of shame and judgement.
What we judge others, we typically judge ourselves for or have been judged by others for.
We were told that aspect is not deserving of love. It’s not accepted, so we must reject it. Thus, we reject it in others.
Our inner child doesn’t understand… ““It’s not fair they get to do that, and I can’t… I want to do that without judgement or shame.… why do they get to do it confidently and be accepted?”
The more self-critical we are, the more this can project outwardly. If we aren’t very accepting of ourselves, our mistakes, our thoughts, feelings, it’s harder to exhibit compassion and acceptance of others when they do similar things.
If you observe, you’ll often see what people “talk shit” about, they also do… Shadow work helps you recognize where you project onto others.
Everything you are ashamed of is apart of normal human behavior and on the spectrum of the human experience.
Once you see it’s a part of you too, you can begin to integrate it and practice self-compassion, this will then lessen the trigger for you… making life a whole lot more peaceful.
Shadow work isn’t for the faint of heart.
It takes a lot of compassion for yourself and others, but ultimately, it’s freeing.
It helps release judgement of others. It helps you release judgement of yourself.
It helps you understand the root of why you reject and shame yourself and others.
It helps you become more accepting of where people are on their path.
It helps you release the idea of absolutes, good and bad.
And it facilitates deeper feelings of self-love.