Interwoven Patterns :: A reflection on the interconnectedness of our experience.

Interwoven Patterns :: A reflection on the interconnectedness of our experience.

One of my favorite parts of Astrology is seeing the interwoven patterns amongst all of our charts.

Patterns and themes in your birth chart carry across into other aspects of your life like synastry, often enhancing the lessons we are meant to learn. 

More obvious themes, like with Pluto, will often carry over into your relationships with others because Pluto is a generational planet. 

So, if you have natal Pluto squaring or opposing a planet in your natal chart, then you will also see it reflected in your synastry with anyone around the same age as you. Their natal Pluto will be squaring or opposing your personal planet, just like your natal Pluto squares/opposes your personal planet. 

I find this so fascinating because often we need external reflections to point to the inward manifestations and understandings of our lessons. 

We need people to trigger us, to reflect back certain emotions, personality traits, etc. to bring awareness to what’s internal to each of us. 

Pluto especially brings our shadow to the surface, and often, we need a trigger point to be able to face it. The thoughts, feelings and traits can be buried in our subconscious, and we need a mirror to see. 

The more you sit with your charts, the deeper you go into Astrology, the more aware you become of the deeper patterns and themes that play out in your life and where they stem from.

Without the knowledge of Astrology, I’m sure you could sit and list off 2-3 patterns you see on repeat in your life. Whether they’re lessons in relationships, money, self-worth, family, friends, work, etc.  

And, the more you learn about Astrology, you can see the aspects, transits, etc. that explain the energy behind it. 

You don’t need both in order to realize the pattern, but it is fascinating to see the energetic explanation. 

 

Venus-Neptune Synastry::

 

My dreams during this Mercury Retrograde have been bringing me the majority of my lessons. As I shared in Sagittarius Season, dreams tend to be a channel of intuitive insight during water sign retrogrades.

Recently, I had a dream about an ex-partner where everything was so romantic and dreamy. In the dream, being with them felt like a fairytale, and when I woke up the illusion was shattered. The reality of who they were did not line up with the dream version, and it brought me to reflect on Neptune. 

Neptune in the natal chart or synastry can bring about idealization, romanticization, fantasy, illusion and delusion.  It can blur and distort reality and perception to whatever it touches. (It has other meanings as well, but for the sake of this post, I’m just sharing these themes.)

The distortion is something I’ve often battled with in my connections because I have Neptune trine Venus in my natal chart. 

While trines are often seen as beautiful and lovely connections, when it comes to Neptune, it can still blur reality. And in connection to Venus, this distortion is around your connections, especially romantic. 

I remembered a comparison I did awhile back between my exes (the things I do in my free time lol) to see the patterns across each relationship. Each of the relationships had certain lessons revisited, and I knew that there had to be some representation of it in our synastry charts. 

Sure enough, there was some variation of about 6-7 synastry patterns across them.  Synastry patterns that I, of course, also have with my parents. The patterns that I have equated with the lessons I keep revisiting in connection with others (not just romantic).

And from this recent dream, I revisited this comparison to find the Neptune theme.

I recognized that all of the relationships that have become substantial/committed had Neptune and Venus dancing together in some way. 

And not because Neptune means commitment by any means, but because the thread between all of these connections was that they felt fated and synchronistic. They had this other-worldly feeling to them like a “connection I’d never experienced before.”

While other connections, that never turned into anything long lasting or life changing, didn’t hold the same destined meeting or feeling of depth. 

Cue, Neptune. 

Unbeknownst to me, it seems that this “spark” that I need to feel in connection with someone in order to date them or explore any type of romantic entanglement needs to have Neptune in aspect to Venus in one way or another. And it also explains why I so rarely feel said “spark.” 

This romantic chemistry that I always felt that these connections had and others didn’t is really only a dance between the planets. 

I had spent years previously sitting with the concept of transference. 

The idea that all my previous connections had a thread of the same wounds I was trying to heal around being attracted to emotionally unavailable/avoidant people. 

When the same thread between each of my connections can also be explained through a common synastry aspect.  

This is where I always start to question if we are just in a video game, and is Astrology just the code?

The deeper I go, the spookier it gets. 

But this Venus-Neptune aspect was different between some of my partners. 

In three of the connections, Venus trined Neptune, and those are ironically the partners that still sit slightly on a pedestal to this day. They are the partners that I have to consciously shake myself to remind myself that they weren’t perfect and neither was our connection. I have to remind myself that we had some pretty incompatible, severing experiences that hurt deeply when we were together. But yet, the blurring of Neptune and idealizing of Venus’ connection to it, I often forget the hurt, and it leaves me maintaining the pedestal when I think of them. 

While the two connections I had Venus square Neptune, are kept off the pedestal and with deep grief that they didn’t equate to who I romanticized and idealized them to be.  

The weight that Venus puts on the Neptune individual during the square or opposition can be heavy. Leaving Neptune feeling like they’re not enough and can’t measure up to Venus’ ideal. And those themes rang true in those connections. They were often the root of many unspoken and spoken issues.  And, I have ironically (or not) had the experience from both sides, being the Venus person in one and the Neptune person in the other.

In my experience, the illusion of an ideal partner is often projected and broken quickly (in the square or opposition), and the relationship is left in disappointment for both.  But there tends to be a harder time letting go because you want to return to the once held fantasy that was present in the beginning, so you continue to try to “go back there,” often unsuccessfully.

 

Revisiting Past Themes & Seeing The Lessons::

 

I like revisiting past connections, not because it has anything to do with the other person, but to be able to see the themes and patterns in my own life. 

Emotions are usually easier to recall in romantic connection. You can see the dynamics of how two people come together easier when there is intimacy involved and more time spent together.

As transiting Pluto conjuncts my Descendant, themes around the mirrors in my relationships will most likely be predominant themes I share in my writing for the next year – 18 years. 

This Venus-Neptune theme across all my major relationships can be traced back to my own natal chart with my natal Venus trining my natal Neptune, and the lessons surrounding idealizing and romanticizing first, illusions breaking second. 

I’m hyper aware of how this feels on the receiving end because I have had partners do the same to me. Where you are up on a pedestal for a few months, and then as soon as you show you’re a real person with thoughts and emotions that aren’t always light and fluffy, the fairytale breaks, and they are disappointed with who you actually are. The realness of you appears to be a let down from the idealized version of you.

I have been on both ends of this experience, and that’s karma for you. Karma isn’t inherently good or bad, it’s more cause and effect than anything. 

And I’m not sure if it’s being Saturn dominant or if everyone can relate to the experience of finding themselves on the receiving end of how they’ve once made someone feel… or even just being in a situation that makes you go “huh, interesting, I can see that person’s perspective now and understand why they reacted/acted that way.”

That has been this deeper understanding of Neptune integrating. 

Seeing where my own personal lesson is to ground into reality and not escape into fantasy and fairytale. 

To see people for their realness, and not just idealizing an illusion or a dream.

That the fullness of human nature is part of intimacy and vulnerability. 

That the harder/heavier aspects of ourselves (and others) are as deeply lovable as the lighter ones. 

That the broad spectrum of every emotion has their place. 

And that compatibility will always override chemistry and romanticizing to form something long and lasting.