Should You Date During Venus Retrograde?

And other Venus Rx questions, answered.

_{VRx Pre-Shadow: 8/31/26-10/3/26 || VRx: 10/3/26-11/13/26 || VRx Post-Shadow: 11/13/26-12/15/26}

Since we still have a month until Venus goes direct and two months before it is out of post shadow, I thought I’d touch on some questions I used to get often in circles.

_{(Please use discretion, take what resonates and leave the rest, do not fear monger, or catastrophize from this post. These are my personal opinions and experiences).}

• Should you date during Venus Retrograde?
• Is your new relationship destined to fail?
• Is your ex going to return?
• When is there potential to meet someone aligned?

When I hosted circles regularly, a pattern I noticed was how many relationships started right before Venus went Retrograde, often during its ~month-long retrograde pre-shadow.

And then once I announced Venus’ Retrograde motion, the question would always be, is this relationship going to work? Or are we going to crash and burn because of retrograde?

And while the planets never cause something to happen directly, especially when two people are involved, they do make a climate for certain experiences to be more common.

If you’re interested in what Venus Retrograde means, its purpose, etc., you can read my post from its last retrograde here.

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A quick side note on free will:

Fate vs. free will is a topic I love turning over and over again, especially when it comes to Astrology, and something I will be sharing more on separately.

One common belief on whether we have free will or not amongst Astrologers is that our birth chart itself may be a form of fate. It’s an imprint that is always there, but when another person is introduced to the equation, free will automatically takes over.

This is often seen in synastry exploration. You can have the most amazing synastry with someone and nothing ever comes from it. While on the other hand, a couple with a somewhat disastrous synastry dynamic, are committed to loving each other and working on the relationship together, thus being together for 25 years.

That short snippet being said, free will always takes over the energetic weather at play.

Which is why the energetic weather may be more inclined towards break ups and you still see people sticking it out and working through things or vice versa.

There is no one size fits all, black and white meaning in Astrology. And when two people are involved like in a relationship, free will will be the dominant force, regardless of what “themes” are present in synastry, transits, etc.

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So, let’s begin.

Should you date during Venus Retrograde?

I will always tell my clients that you should do whatever you were going to do if you knew nothing about Astrology.

If you didn’t know it was Venus Retrograde or Mercury Retrograde or Eclipse Season, what would you do?

I find that using Astrology too much we can end up chasing perfection in our decision making process. Always needing to do the “right thing.” When in reality, there is no right and wrong and sometimes the lesson cannot be avoided. If you “skip” it now, it will just come back either the next retrograde or in the next person you meet.

This is where the concept I call “karma blocking” comes into play. I have found over my life that intuitively I know something, but it’s not my place to share — with clients, friends, etc. And, I have learned this the hard way.

Knowing whether someone is “right” for someone or if the relationship is going to “work out” or not.

But, telling them the truth at the beginning, while yes could save a lot of hurt, can also bypass the lessons and experiences that person is meant to have in that situation.

Which is why I always try to guide my clients back to using their own internal guidance system in making choices for themselves.

We always know when to leave or stay.

And sometimes, we’re just not ready yet because we need to learn and grow more through certain experiences.

So, should you date during Venus Retrograde? 

You should do whatever you feel called to do.

Some will want to circulate more, others won’t.

Those that do, I find you are using the retrograde to fine tune more of what you are looking for in your connections. Your values become more defined through the process, and you’re able to revisit topics around self-worth more readily.

Some do this through connecting with others. While some do this by introspection and therapeutic practices, even revisiting the past.

Is Your New Relationship Destined to Fail?

No, but with caveat.

I have rarely seen a relationship that starts during pre-shadow or the beginning of the retrograde itself work out in the long term. That doesn’t mean it’s not possible. But in my experience, observing this pattern, the relationship does end at some point in the future.

The thing about Venus Retrograde is that communication in your relationships becomes harder. There are more misunderstandings, less communication where its needed, and sometimes more confusion between the parties. What we want and what we don’t want gets a little blurry in some cases too.

Relationships that start before retrograde motion often have a fated quality. You feel deeply bonded, quickly, but as soon as Venus goes Retrograde, problems begin to arise. These can be in communication like above, compatibility, values, desires, etc.

And in my observations, these relationships are usually very pivotal to the person’s growth. From working with people for years and getting to witness their trajectories, I often see them reference these relationships when they share about lessons and growth in love in the future.

Which is one of the many reasons I stress to date if you feel called to date. This person who comes into your life can be life-changing, even if they’re not forever.

The relationship serves to be very important in defining either your self-worth and what you value (in your self or others) or help in recognizing signs sooner/what you don’t want.

From the outside looking in, these relationships, if they don’t last, they serve as a cosmic stepping stone to get you to where you’re meant to be.

You realize a lot about yourself, how you relate, and what you’re looking for in partnership.

I’ve also witnessed a few people explore their sexuality during these times and coming out of retrograde with a more defined approach to who and what they are looking for.

Relationships begun once Venus has stationed retrograde (October 3rd to November 13th for North America), are the ones in my opinion that struggle the most.

_{(one million disclaimers that this is not always the case)}

There is more insecurity in love and a lot of past wounding, attachment and abandonment wounding comes to the fore and is often triggered by the other person.

These relationships really get you to view your worth in a whole new way, and I often find people standing more firmly in their self-worth after Venus goes direct/out of post shadow, whether the relationship continues or not.

Communication or “expressions of love” are usually off between these couples. And you feel like you’re trying a lot harder to make something work than you normally do or even “should”.

If you are already in an established relationship, you may see tests in your relationship. Same with issues around communication or expressing/receiving love. 

For healthy couples, this is just a way to express your needs and align with one another to move forward in a more connective way. 

For others, this may cause separation in an already shaky relationship.

Is my Ex going to return?

In some capacity, yes, probably. 

And what I mean by that is memories, feelings, dreams may be the method that an ex returns during this cycle.

Exes don’t always physically show up for us to reconnect.

But they definitely can, especially if we have “unfinished business.”

There is something so potent about Venus Retrograde energy that brings up past connections. Not even just romantic.

We often are able to process a lot of our desires, values, worth, etc. by looking to the past.

In my experience, the person themself may show up in a variety of ways: songs, thinking that you keep seeing them places (when logically it makes no sense it would be them), dreams, nostalgia, running into mutual friends, etc.

For me, this continues to happen until I sit with whatever that person is representing.

Example: I kept “seeing an ex” that in no reality would be where I am, until I processed certain feelings with my therapist. That person could represent a wound, an unacknowledged desire, or even just past feelings that were never fully integrated because at the time those feelings felt “wrong” or “bad.”

Further example: Allowing yourself to miss an ex/grieve the relationship, etc. even when they treated you poorly. We don’t always allow ourselves to feel sad or miss someone if they treated us like crap. We leave the relationship mad, angry, bitter, resentful, etc. Because why would you miss someone who has hurt you? But those feelings are part of the process. And if we deny them during the breakup, they may come back around to be felt during a Venus Retrograde.

Now for the real tangible in person exes. Venus Retrograde is a time I most often see exes return, way more than Mercury Retrograde. And it’s usually with some proclamation of love.

Like I mentioned above, feelings of nostalgia and missing someone can definitely be prominent during VRx, and for those that still have unresolved things (feelings, words left unsaid) in a connection, it can trigger them to reach out.

Not everyone has the awareness that: missing this person doesn’t always equate to we should be together.

So they reach out, thinking if we maybe give it one more try, then it’ll work out.

In my experience (both personally and observed), these connections last for the retrograde and usually end either as Venus goes direct or once it moves out of post-shadow.

But there is a purpose to this. 

When an ex comes back during VRx, there is something that hasn’t quite been fully realized between the two (an incompatibility, as an example). 

So with the energetic weather, it is highlighted more in the revisiting of the relationship, which thus allows for more closure and ability to truly let the relationship go.

And sometimes, it works out. I have personally never seen this happen, but it’s definitely possible that things are revisited and worked through.

When is there potential to meet someone aligned?

One of the best times to meet someone long lasting, fated and karmic is when Venus stations direct and throughout its post-retrograde (November 13-December 15, 2026).

And I don’t mean, go out and seek love, although you can if you feel called. Use that intuition again.

This will be a time where more a destined, synchronistic type of meeting occurs.

This is where I believe fate to come into play that you meet the right person at the right time.

It’s not something you can plan or force, it happens if it’s meant to.

And if you don’t meet someone during this time, there are plenty more fruitful chances in your future.

Best of luck, Venus babies.

^{Venus Retrograde Pre-Shadow: 8/31/26-10/3/26}

^{Venus Retrograde: 10/3/26-11/13/26}

^{Venus Retrograde Post-Shadow: 11/13/26-12/15/26}